Originally, this topic for my Expanding my Horizons series was going to be the first to be published; however, due to some rather intense and disrespectful questions and comments left on my formspring account, I decided to allow a bit of time to pass before exposing my opinions to the world.
As someone who has spent most of her academic life doing research, I find that when I prepare for an article in my journal I invest a great amount of time learning about a subject, asking questions and pondering my own gut reaction to certain stimuli. When I started this specific topic I found that every definition I read appeared vague, leaving me with a rather inconclusive definition of: forced sexual activities with many or a few passive people.
“Forced sexual activities with many or a few passive people.” Hmm. No where in that description does it state an exact number nor is it gender specific. What I find most interesting is not the actual definitions of such an act but rather the interpretation of the term “gang bang” when I asked people how they would define it, what the words “gang bang” meant to them. My pseudo random group consisted of kinky people, non kinky people, kind of kinky people, people in the adult entertainment industry and even my mum. (Yes, my mum.) I asked people who identify as heterosexual, as heteroflexible, as gay, as lesbian, as dyke, as bisexual, as queer, as poker straight, as mixed and two people even identified themselves as gay with a few sprinkles of straightness. The ages of all 260 people interviewed ranged between 18 to 65 and the male to female ratio was equal and was the only aspect to my inquisitive poll that I controlled.
Out of all the answers I received the one common denominator in every answer was that everyone believed gang bangs involved a group of men fucking at least one woman, sometimes there were many women but what did not change was the “large group of men”. The large group consisted of anywhere from four to 100 men, and at one point during the gang bang cum would be ejaculated onto the woman’s body, predominantly her face. Throughout my curious research I provided no answers myself, I offered no ideas as to what a gang bang is; however, the number of men, the male ejaculate on the female’s face and the fact that at one point the woman would have at least two cocks in her mouth simultaneously was an answer provided by all interviewees.
What piqued my curiosity the most I would say is that even for men who identified as homosexual described a gang bang with a woman first. They did; however, also describe a gang bang with a man being on the receiving end, initially though their first response was a woman. Just as equally interesting was the fact that the women who identified as lesbian initially described a gang bang as a group of men using a woman; however, they too added to their definition describing a gang bang as a group of women fucking another woman.
Interestingly after six weeks of research I realised that although the text book definition of a gang bang lacks in specifics, the “general” public appears to have a much more detailed definition and it appears to be consistent among the masses. Before I had read the many dictionary definitions I too had believed a gang bang consisted of a minimum of four people with an infinite maximum. My initial image of a gang bang consisted of a group of men; however, I did not exclude women as the group it merely was a second thought. The activities involved were limitless; however, just like my poll takers, I too imagined cum on the woman’s or man’s face and two cocks in the mouth as well as in every other hole at least one time during the experience.
The details of all that could potentially transpire during a gang bang were limitless; however, the actual length of such an experience averaged to 3.42 hours with the shortest time being 1 hour and the longest being 6. Women on a whole preferred the shorter time frames liking a maximum of 3 hours; however, the men tended to desire longer escapades, one gentleman even stated if he ever thought it were possible he would like to see a woman be fucked for 24 consecutive hours. (He did not say he would be the one fucking, just that he would enjoy such an experience.)
My little study, although interesting really has no scientific validity; however, I thought it was important for me to explore such a topic with as many people as I possibly could solely so I could better understand or at least be open to such an activity because, quite frankly, the idea of gang bangs has always turned me off and I wanted to expand my thoughts, open myself to possibilities and perhaps find something new, feel something new about such an event. And after listening to numerous fantasies and genuine experiences as well as reading erotic stories many of my interviewees shared with me, I can say that my views on gang bangs have not changed; I still find the idea repulsive. Repulsive mind you, to me.
The actual act of a gang bang is not arousing to me nor does it excite me. On the contrary. The idea of strangers or people I know using my body as a rag doll as a fuck hole; the idea of having copious amounts of cum on me, in my mouth, flooding my holes; the image of me being flipped over, pulled up, yanked on and grabbed by numerous hands, clawed at by many fingers makes me almost ill to my stomach; however, my physical upset is not the only part of me disturbed, my emotional well being also experiences levels of turmoil just from thinking about such an event.
My own discombobulation though is just that, my own. Simply because I dislike the idea of a gang bang does not mean I dislike others who enjoy such activities. In fact, I personally know and even call one such person my very dearest of friends and even though my very dear friend finds the idea of being used by a group of men, being fucked and cock choked by numerous men arousing, does not mean I think any less of her. Because I do not. I love her dearly and am grateful for her honesty and passion and although I might not want to hear all the sordid details of her gang bangs, I am more than happy to listen to them because it makes her happy to share, because it allows her excitement to last.
When I was very young I learned to separate an act from a person and to this day I am still able to do so. I do not base my affection towards a person solely based on what activities turn him/her own therefore just because someone likes to be in a gang bang does not mean I do not like that person or think less of them. All it means is we do not share one common interest.
I do not enjoy the thought of a gang bang. I do not become aroused at the idea of numerous men or women using me or any other; however, there are certain elements such as the humiliation and the degradation that I too can find arousing, just in a different setting. I can also understand and see the arousal of being so exposed to a group of people, how vulnerable one would feel. These new insights have come from asking questions, from speaking with so many willing people and therefore I feel that even though my overall views on gang bangs has not changed, I most certainly have opened myself to parts of such an experience and feel as though I have learned something new about myself and that means everything to me.
I do not have to enjoy everything sexual. It is very nice being open to possibilities though and I feel as though I am on the right track.