I find many activities people participate in are crazy. Recently I have come across writings, debates if you will, about what is safe, what is risky, what is acceptable and after reading said exchanges I find myself often thinking, “that person is insane”. Yes, that is my observation and I am comfortable with making such a statement. I feel secure in my sentiments because I do not share them with others nor do I expect anyone to change because of my opinion. Still, there are many experiences people partake in that leave me shaking my head and pondering how is it possible we still manage to survive as a human race when such stupidity exists?
What gave me motivation for this entry was a photograph on fetlife where a woman was sleeping with a rope around her neck. Frankly I did not even see the rope when I first saw the image; however, others did which in turn caused a rather heated and might I add disrespectful debate about safety and being safe aware. Now this will sound harsh; however, if someone wants to sleep with a rope around his/her neck and take the risk of something happening, so be it. It is not my neck, it is not my responsibility and it is not someone I know, care for or love. Also the assumption that said person was actually in harms way, well so many people want to protect and I appreciate that; however, at the end of the day people will make choices and they are the ones who have to live with those decisions.
This of course does not mean I can not think they are ridiculous for said decisions. In fact there are so many things people do that leaves me questioning ones sanity. A perfect example of this would be people who do not practice safe sex. Such a simple act to do to ensure their body remains healthy and yet so many ignore it. In fact I recently spoke with a woman who participated in numerous sexual activities and with many partners and yet she did not always use a condom or dental damn and she did not ensure everyone had a STI test to show they were clean. When she first shared with me her experiences she was worried I would think less of her or judge her and when I told her it was her life and she can make her own choices she was stunned. The truth is it is her choice and since I am not having sex with her and Master is not having sex with her, well it really does not impact my life and therefore is none of my business. I do not agree with such behaviours; however, not my life, not my choice. What is my choice is not engaging with anyone who is not clean or who does not practice safe sex and fortunately I have a Master who supports my thought process and agrees that we only play with those who are clean and who care enough about themselves they do not put their health (life) in jeopardy. And that is how I genuinely feel. If someone does not take precautions to ensure their body is not in danger how on earth can I trust them to keep my body safe? The answer: I can not. Personally I believe people who do not take the necessary precautions to be lazy with their well being and I do not tolerate anyone being lazy with mine.
This brings me to my next crazy act: playing with strangers. I am all for excitement but engaging in sexual play, engaging in a BDSM exchange with a complete stranger is simply too risky for me. Yes, bad things can happen when you know the person but that risk increases when with someone you do not know or who does not know you. When I hear of stories from people who say they met a person at the bar and then went home and had sex with them I am shocked. I realise I should not be at this age but I am. Chances are the person is nice and will not do harm but there is still that one tiny percentage that he or she might. Or better yet, when someone meets someone at a kink play party and willing allows them to gag them, bind them and then beat them all while not knowing more than their alias baffles me. The reality is most likely nothing more than good old fashioned fun will take place but again, there is the chance that things could go terribly wrong. Still so many take the risk and it is just that choice that leaves me shaking my head.
In the kink world I often hear/read of people participating in random acts of deviance and I am baffled that so many think it is okay. Again I disagree with numerous behaviours; however, I do not believe it is my place to correct others or try to get them to change because to each his/her own. This does not mean I can not disagree or think they are crazy. For instance I think people who like to be punched in the face to be a little off their rocker. From a psychological point of view I absolutely believe there is something “off” about individuals who enjoy that level of physical use. Along those lines, people who have a desire to be scarred from bunching or kicking or any other like minded activity are a little cuckoo for coco puffs if you ask me. Still, if I were to witness such an exchange but know it was consensual well then who am I to say anything about it? I do not think it is healthy and I genuinely believe those people might want to seek counselling but that is merely my opinion.
Rape play is another area that is borderline insane to me. Not so much for those who wish for their male counterpart to consensually force them into things they do not necessarily want but rather for those who really do wish to be taken by complete strangers. I have come across numerous journal entries written by women who have participated in sexual assault activities. Many of the women will write an ad in Craigslist describing what they want and will agree for a stranger to come to their home, use the key that is under their front mat and enter. Said intruder will cover their face and sexually use them in any manner they want and then leave without said person ever being able to see who it is. These women give consent for this person to enter their home, bind them and have their way with them only to leave. Absolutely anything could happen in such a scenario and yet they so willingly engage in said behaviours. Quite frankly I find that invitation to be ludicrous and just maybe those women might want to enter a mental health facility. Still, no matter how nuts I think they are it is their choice and they have to live with the consequences of their actions, not me.
I am not the sex/kink police nor do I wish to ever wear such a badge (nor do I think one even exists). That does not mean I can not have an opinion of said behaviours because I do. A strong one at that. At the same time I know there are people who believe I am nuts for living the life I do; I know because I have received enough e-mails and messages from individuals wishing to “save me” from my abusive environment. Unlike those who send me quotes from the bible or who throw far too many lengthy exerts from any law book he or she can find I do not push my beliefs on others. If someone wants to do something that could cause permanent damage either physical or mental/emotional so be it. If someone wants to cause injury to their flesh that is his/her choice. I do not condone it mind you; however, it is their life to lead, not my own. The only time I would interject is if said activity involved a minor, a child. Participating in sexual activities with minors/children is not crazy it is against the law and grossly disgusting and I will not stand for it. Nor will I accept any persons version of how they think it is acceptable. Those who play with children in an adult/sexual manner are beyond insane, they are despicable and will never be tolerated by me.
But that is an entirely different topic, one I do not wish to discuss.
There will always be crazy risk takers. The world is made up of many different people. I am just happy I am not one of them.
Live and let live.