Right from the very beginning I asked Master if he would wait to have sexual intercourse with pet, (or any woman for that matter), until I was comfortable with the idea.  Master, being a man of great patience with me, agreed to wait and has not pushed the topic since.  In fact, Master has left that particular decision to me and although he controls everything, he has given me supervised, pseudo control over the time line and I am exceptionally grateful for such responsibility.

When I first asked Master not to engage in any form of body to body penetration he asked me why I wanted him to wait and my first response was because I wanted all testing to be complete.  I have taken a plethora of precautions to ensure my body is not harmed by disease and or infection and I was unwilling to take a risk with my health.  Master has been aware of my views regarding sexually transmitted infections and although he believes I can be extreme he does respect my beliefs.

Being tested was only one portion of my hesitation.  Although I am unable to formulate accurate reasons, what I will say is I merely had a gut reaction, an innate instinct that steered my decision of asking Master to wait.  I believe it would be ridiculous for me to say that  my previous experiences of having my partner have sex with another woman did not influence my decisions in one way or another.  The reality is, in the past, whenever my partner had sexual intercourse with another female, the relationship took a downward spiral and ended shortly thereafter.

When sex is brought into a relationship, dynamics do change. This new development does not have to be intense nor does it need to alter the already existing relationship but it does bring a new element to the exchange and that often brings forth a whole new set of emotions.  As someone who is keenly aware of her emotions I had an immediate reaction to the idea, the image of Master having sex with pet and the feelings bubbling inside of me were not positive, were not happy which is why I asked Master to wait.  When the time came when I instructed pet to suck Master's cock, I had come to a place inside of myself where I was comfortable with the idea, in fact I was aroused by it and during that first experience as I rested my cheek against Master's chest, my eyes following the bobbing of pet's head as she moved her lips up and down Master's cock, not only was I happy, I was aroused.  Aroused to watch pet service Master, aroused to know Master was receiving pleasure, aroused to have been part of the exchange for it was I who had commanded pet to beg for the privilege of lapping at Master's cock, of tasting him.

I have come to realise that the key for me to feeling comfortable with Master fucking pet, fucking any woman, is to be included, to be a part of the interaction and in order for that to happen I have to actually be willing to participate, I must be connecting with Master, both emotionally as well as physically and I have to actually have physical contact with pet.  Last weekend was one step towards being more comfortable with Master fucking other women for I made the effort to physically explore pet, to use my fingers on and in pet and to play with pet's body in a purely sexual manner.  It is amazing to me how that one moment where Master was guiding me to slide more fingers into pet's cunt has helped open the doors of possibilities and how my views on Master fucking pet has expanded.  I no longer feel distant from that exchange and I have confidence that when the time comes when Master fucks pets cunt or ass cunt, I will be right along for the ride, whether that be playing/torturing pets nipples or fucking the hole Master isn't or by kissing Master, caressing Master's flesh.  Regardless of how it all transpires, I will be an active participant, taking my own version of pleasure from the exchange.

Having sex with a third party is not something I would ever approach without thought, without contemplation.  The relationship I share with Master and the relationship I have with myself is far too important to risk over something as fleeting as sex.  I value all Master and I have worked for and I believe it is important to be honest with Master as well as myself and therefore I know that when the time comes and Master does fuck pet, I may end up feeling something entirely different than what I felt when pet sucked Master's cock.  I am aware that imagining Master having sex with pet could very well be exceptionally different from what I will actually feel and should my feelings be less than pleasing I will share that with Master and we will move forward working on way to move past that uncomfortableness.

There truly is nothing wrong with jumping right into a situation. At the same time, there is nothing wrong with waiting and I am glad we have for it is impossible to go back in time, to undo what has already been done and I respect myself, I respect Master and I respect the relationship we share far too much to ever do something that could jeopardize all we have worked for and by waiting, by understanding my feelings I believe we have reinforced our relationship, ensuring it is stronger than ever.

Master is not mine. I do not own him. I do not possess him. I do share a relationship with him though and by having Master fuck another woman, in my eyes, in my heart, I am sharing Master's cock with someone else, I am sharing what is mine with another person and that is significant.  In the beginning when pet first came into our lives I know I made numerous rules because I wanted to keep things special between just him and I and although there are still a few things that I would like just ours, I have gained the confidence, the reassurance that even if Master fucks another woman, he is still my Master and I am still his slave and sharing does not lessen the intimacy we share.

Reaching this level of confidence, this awareness has been a slow journey and one that will hopefully continue throughout my life for it has served me well and enables me to reach my goals and in the end, isn't that what matters most?

"As long as someone keeps moving forward, the speed at which they travel shouldn't matter." A.K.

(Photograph courtesy of: Molesworth Gallery)

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