Slave musings

Masters' slave sharing her journey, her introspection of the world she embraces, of the life she has chosen to live.

They made us this way.” Pink. Pink. Pink. What objects are made of. »« Because life is not always black or white.

Earning the priviledge of being our pet.

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Recently the relationship Master and I share with the young woman took a slight detour and although we are all back on track, the path has been altered ever so slightly.  Initially the change of course happened because the young woman wanted to change the amount of control we have over her; however, the relationship pot hole was hit when the young woman decided that she no longer wished to address me and Master as "Miss and Sir" when not in our presence.   The young woman had decided on her own that she would only address me and Master with such titles when she is in our home, visiting us. The young woman believed that she needed to remove the titles when not in our presence because she needed to distance herself from us as she felt a great sense of pain and loss now that we were no longer controlling any aspect of her life when not in close physical proximity.

The fact that the young woman desired to separate herself from us is not what caused concern, it was that the young woman made such an important decision without including Master and myself.  The young woman made a choice that would affect all of us and yet she failed to contemplate the consequences of her actions and how it would change the way Master and I approach her.  And it did change.  One significant way it has changed is that we no longer address the young woman as "pet" we now address her by her first name.  This decision was made, in essence for us, the moment the young woman removed our titles from her and although it has been a rather awkward transition I believe it is for the best as I do believe the young woman has much to learn and not having the title of "pet" will help her grow from this experience, will help reinforce the lesson of sharing, of communicating, of not withholding feelings from the very people who are here for her, who encourage her to share.

My initial reaction to the young woman discarding our titles was disbelief and shock.  My reaction, my feelings I believe varied from Master's and therefore I shall not speak on great lengths of his feelings; however, after we spoke, we certainly came away with the same sentiments: we were displeased and disappointed.   When I decided to allow the young woman to address me as "Miss" I did so with great thought and contemplation.  I had never before allowed anyone to address me in such a manner and the title, the emotional connection that came with such permission was not something I took lightly.  The fact that the young woman had discarded such an exchange without any regard towards mine or Master's feelings left me with a rather unsettled sensation and it is because of these feelings that both Master and I are unwilling to allow the young woman to address us as "Sir and Miss" anytime soon.

The reality is, the young woman has to earn those titles back. She has to work at being granted such a permission, such an honour just as she has to work at the honour of being addressed as "pet" again.  This is not something that only affects the young woman, it affects both Master and myself and that was apparent when the young woman was in our home on Friday.  After a very emotional video conversation with the young woman late Friday night, after pushing some tough love on the young woman, she finally asked for us to come get her, to give her a hug and allow her to stay the night.  Although we were disappointed with the young woman's behaviour we wanted to show her that we had not abandoned her, that she was still wanted and encouraging her to ask to come spend the night was our way of showing her we care.

The rules with the young woman, now that we are not controlling any aspect of her life outside of our presence, is that should she desire us to control her she needs to ask and she did so the moment she walked through the door. It was almost as though she could barely breathe until the words escaped her mouth and after a brief conversation between me and Master, we agreed to control her while in our presence.  The moment we said yes, the tears began to trickle down her cheek and through, what can only be described as trepidation, she asked if she could call us "Sir and Miss" again.  We denied her such permission; however, I did remind her that she could ask for a hug and with a lump in the back of her throat, she did just ask, ask for a hug. Not only did she ask for the hug, she asked for everything that evening, without making a single mistake.  In fact, she was more obedient during that short visit than ever before. And although it felt natural to hear her ask for permission,  I will admit  it felt awkward to address her by her first name and to have her address us by our names; however, I am willing to endure the awkwardness in hopes that the young woman will continue to learn from this exchange.

Our feelings towards the young woman have not altered, we still wish to train her, to move forward; however, the young woman must now show that she truly desires for us to control her, to be a "pet" for us.  She also needs to be accountable for her actions, to accept the choices she has made and to move forward, not dwell on them.  We all make mistakes, this is natural, this is what provides growth and although her mistake was one that affected all of us, not only her, it is not something we can not move past. I believe it is absurd to think we can go back to the way things were; however, there is no reason why we can not continue our journey together, we simply have to acknowledge that things are different, things have changed and hopefully we will move into an even better direction.

Everything just takes time.

~His

Earning the priviledge of being our pet. 7.071

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Sunday,January 17,2010 at 1:23 pm
9 comments »
  • Sunday,January 24,2010 at 6:35 pmTainted

    To be hon­est, if someone had with­drawn their con­trol of me when I was not in their pres­ence I would also stop call­ing them by their desired titles, trust and respect goes both ways. It was a defense mech­an­ism on her behalf.

    td

    • Sunday,January 24,2010 at 8:57 pmHis Only

      td,
      First hello and thank you for com­ment­ing. I wish to say that the young woman had every right to remove the titles. Our upset came from the fact that she had not shared her feel­ings rather she just altered the arrange­ment we had pre­vi­ously agreed upon. I would also like to share with you that it was not Master or myself who stopped con­trolling the young woman, but rather _her_ choice to not have us con­trol her. Both events were entirely her decision.

      I do agree with your sen­ti­ments that her beha­viours were influ­enced from what can only be described as a defense mech­an­ism; how­ever, rela­tion­ships can not sur­vive without com­mu­nic­a­tion and shar­ing of ones feel­ings and the young woman did neither.

      You are cor­rect, trust and respect go both ways and unfor­tu­nately the young woman’s beha­viour was not respect­ful towards us, her choices were done without respect involved. Our responses were respect­ful, in fact we con­tinue to encour­age the young woman to express her feel­ings and we remind her reg­u­larly that the choices are hers to make, not ours.

      Thank you for your response.

      ~His

  • Monday,January 18,2010 at 12:24 am!

    On a side note…I like that picture/avatar much bet­ter than the one I had before. It’s not pink any more!

    I guess chan­ging my name changed the icon. Cool!

  • Monday,January 18,2010 at 12:22 am!

    Thank you very much for Friday, I really needed it. I am still par­tially wrap­ping my head around the idea that you and your Master (not quite sure how to address you here now…) actu­ally came out on Friday and got me. It was cer­tainly a new exper­i­ence for me. I am grow­ing and learn­ing and not pan­ick­ing any more, and hope that I will be able to earn those titles back.

    It is awk­ward to address you by your first name, and to be addressed by my first name; but what Lauren said is very true.

    And yes, everything does just take time. Before this, I had never had to wait for things. I am glad that I am start­ing to learn that now, as opposed to any later in my life.

    !

    • Monday,January 18,2010 at 9:06 amHis Only

      young woman,
      I have no doubts what­so­ever that you will earn the titles back. No doubts! I will not speak on Master’s behalf; how­ever, I believe with me the title will come back when the trust is exper­i­enced, trust on both ends. I am cer­tain that we are all ded­ic­ated enough to ensure we move in a dir­ec­tion which will make all of us happy.

      As for com­ing out on Friday, that is some­thing you do when you have inves­ted time, energy and emo­tion into someone. The decision to come get you was easy to make on our behalf and hope­fully that one small action will show you that we are not about to aban­don you.

      On a side note… I like that you could see the sil­ver lin­ing in the removal of your title..it is indeed green and no longer pink when you leave a com­ment. Still I am look­ing for­ward to when it returns to “pet” and if that means it has to be pink, so be it. :)

      ~His

  • Sunday,January 17,2010 at 6:25 pmisis

    Writing such as this is why I con­tinue to be a faith­ful reader of your blog. Such emo­tion! And I have felt the emo­tions of hav­ing to earn titles and privledges. Even a small tri­umph can feel like the world. I don’t know if I will ever com­pleltly settle into my role as girl, but I am cer­tain every small step that earns me a “good girl” is worth it. Best to you through con­tin­ued journies.

    • Sunday,January 17,2010 at 7:14 pmHis Only

      isis,
      What a hum­bling com­pli­ment, thank you. I do appre­ci­ate that you enjoy my words, the exper­i­ences we share as I know I value oth­ers opin­ion, views and life exper­i­ences.
      I think titles hold as much weight as we wish to grant them, for me being Master’s slave holds a tre­mend­ous amount of weight and that title is one I cher­ish and do not take for gran­ted.
      I hope that you will one day feel settled and happy with your role as girl and until then, may you take great joy from every “good girl” you receive.

      Again, thank you.

      ~His

  • Sunday,January 17,2010 at 5:58 pmLauren

    Perhaps the awk­ward­ness will be worth it since the titles will prob­ably have much more mean­ing to them once (or if) they return.

    • Sunday,January 17,2010 at 7:12 pmHis Only

      Lauren,
      I could not have said it bet­ter. I have com­plete faith things will move in the dir­ec­tion we all want. :)

      ~His

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