I believe my Master said it best in his most recent entry, when he described this lifestyle as "a breath­ing entity that trans­forms with the people in it".  This sentiment, in my opinion is not exclusive to the world of kink; however, I think it describes the desires, the expressions, the extremes in behaviours which are constantly evolving and most often bring ridicule, discrimination and speculation to all those who participate in such an alternative environment.

It would be extremely naive of me, of anyone for that matter, to believe that the exchanges in a B.D.S.M. habitat are void of judgment, on the contrary.  I have been witness to and the target of, numerous hateful, rude and or questioning comments all from within the "community".  I am also, unfortunately, not above casting stones and I have had to censor myself on more than one occasion, silencing my own judgmental thoughts.

To judge appears to be a rather human trait and I can not say that I have ever met a person who does not judge on some level.  This does not mean I condone it, it simply means I acknowledge our flaws and work diligently in moving past them.  This level of growth takes a great deal of time, at least for me and I became acutely aware of my disability when I learned that pet had received 185 strokes with a cane causing serious hematomas on her backside as well as thigh.  When I first heard that she was to receive 312 lashings I believe I stared in complete and utter disbelief that anyone would ever want to inflict such damage as well as why would anyone ever wish to receive such pain.

I am by no means either a sadist or a masochist and therefore I took my own desires into consideration and suspended all feelings of uncertainty and negativity.  I truly wished to speak with Master, to get his point of view since he definitely has sadistic tendencies and he often will help me to remove my blinders and see the world from a different point of view.  Interestingly though, after sharing the information with Master, his response mirrored my own and so I returned to my thoughts  and after a great deal of medical research and introspection I came to the conclusion that desiring to cane someone to the point where a backside turns to shades of black or desiring to have your flesh coloured in shades of black is equivalent to wanting to sprain someone's ankle or wanting to have your ankle sprained: both are serious injuries which cause overall physiological stress on the body.

I am very aware that there are numerous people who would grossly disagree with my comparison and although I respect other people's perspectives, I stand strong with my own convictions.  In this one circumstance I confess it was very difficult for me to not judge and even now as I type this I struggle.  I simply do not comprehend the enjoyment and perhaps much of my thinking has to do with my extensive psychological studies and experience for when I think of a person who enjoys such extremes I can not help but wonder where the motive comes from.  Now, do not misunderstand, I am not insinuating that all people who enjoy levels of pain are working through a psychological ailment; however, I have spoken with many people who identify as either masochist or sadist and after numerous conversations I have discovered that he or she was over compensating for something else.  I personally have worked with and interviewed numerous men and or women who were once self cutters, self harming individuals who turned towards masochism as a means to stop harming themselves and instead ask someone else to do it for them, (there is even a well known movie called The Secretary which depicts that exact situation).

There are far too many variables to investigate with regards to why people become aroused by hurting someone or be aroused by being hurt and I do not believe there will ever be any one answer. Still I can not help but contemplate the motives and try to be accepting all while not being judgmental.  I am certain that there are numerous people who do not agree to the choices I make, (and I have the e-mails to prove it); however, this does not mean I will stop doing what makes me happy, what satisfies my sexual cravings.  Still, I do take time to contemplate when someone makes a comment for I believe it is important to be reflective, to take time every now and then and evaluate my actions.

I may never understand a persons choices nor do I have to agree with them; however, I think it would be negligent for me, for anyone not only in the kink environment, but in all areas of life to not stop and take notice of what is happening and to ask questions. To always ask questions.

~His

Because life is not always black or white., 6.0 out of 7 based on 1 rating

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