Do you believe in Satan?
"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."
~ The Usual Suspects
Have you ever danced with the devil? Have you ever felt his heated flesh ignite your very own? Or felt the slight embers of his caress when his fingers entwined with yours? Have you ever felt the slow exhale of his charcoal breath, the heat almost causing your lips to blister? I have. And it intoxicates me. Ravishes and consumes me, leaving me scarred and longing for more.
I have never been one to believe the devil is a two horned, four hoofed, blood red creature lurking beneath this planet we call earth. I believe the devil is energy which resides in all of us. It is that place of darkness, of debauchery; the essence of all that we fear and lust all at the same time. I tend not to embrace the evil inside me; however, there are moments when it wriggles free from my mental cage and in those rare experiences I find myself lost in a whirlwind of erotic temptation.
In those moments when he captures my limbs within his own, when his teeth bite even though he does not pierce my neck, when his voice consists of only growls and grunts - that is when his devil lures mine - beckoning me to play. To engage in an elicit embrace with only possibilities, no limitations. I crave those moments, brief snippets of time exchanged between my internal demons and Master's.
It is important for me to acknowledge that part of me, to give it freedom, to express itself because it is when I am surrounded by blackness, my body pushed into a corner, struggling to catch my breath, feeling the goosebumps dance along my shoulders, down my spine, my fingertips griping at the wall, the carpet, anything to cling to, that is when I feel most alive, when I feel closest to myself, to Master. It is also when I feel all my fantasies come to life, when being rational becomes fictional and when I want everything, all wicked desires to surround me, to fill me, to be lived through me.
The downfall of Satan's tango is that it seduces me only long enough to leave me panting, never enough to push me over the edge, the place I so desperately want to go. There are too many reigns, tugging ferociously, yanking the devil back to its cage, locking it in solitude. Perhaps one day, the burning embers will melt those restraints and I will at last finish my dance.
~His
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Thursday,January 7,2010 at 3:13 pm
