Lessons learned from a red bottom.

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Lessons learned from a red bottom.

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The other evening pet came for a much needed visit. Although it had not been that long since pet and I had some time together, it had been a very long time since Master and pet had seen each other and I believe it was good for both of them. The visit was really for some relax time, to have dinner, watching some television and to fill up pet's hug meter. Once pet was settled in the house and we had given her some hugs and cuddles it was time for her punishment. I say punishment rather than consequence because the penalty was a rather harsh one and was meant to inflict both physical as well as emotional pain. When there is a combination of those two elements it truly is to teach a significant lesson and both Master and I felt that pet needed some "tough love".

Earlier in the day Master had picked the wooden cane he would use on pet's backside. As I heard him swish it through the air I felt the tiny hairs on the back of my neck tingle and I knew Master would certainly be leaving a mark on pet's flesh. I had not been aware of any offense until that very morning when Master had shared with me that pet was going to receive five lashes with the cane. Master disclosed this information with me as he wanted me to emotionally prepare myself for pets reactions. Master has come to learn that it can be extremely difficult for me to watch another person experience pain; that I often feel the well of tears spill onto my own cheeks far quicker than those of the person receiving the lashings. Interestingly enough, after Master explained the why behind pet's punishment I felt no emotional discomfort. In fact, I agreed with Master and believed the five strikes with the cane were exactly what pet deserved.

When the time had come for pet to accept her punishment I had pet kneel before Master and explain to him exactly why she was about to receive the cane. The instructions for explaining the why behind her punishment was my idea as I felt it would help reinforce the lesson she was about to learn. Once she had expressed herself properly, I instructed her to stand and to hold onto the staircase railing. I explained to pet that she would be permitted to scream, to shout, to use any word she wished and that she was permitted to stomp her feet after each swat; however, she was not to take her hands off of the railing and that should her hands leave the banister she would receive an additional swat for each offense.

My forthcoming control over pet was something I had not exerted with pet prior to that one instant and after much thought, I believe it stems from my years of counseling; years of believing in and having to follow through with the idea of tough love. Even when I watched Master strike pets skin, leaving large, vibrant, raised welts all across her bottom I did not flinch. The only time I paused was when it appeared as though Master had broken skin, fortunately he had not, it was merely dry skin shedding from each whack. Master was not gentle, his arm swung back and the impact of the evil wooden tool definitely left its mark and although pet was most certainly crying, I did not feel any discomfort. In fact I felt confident that what pet was enduring was exactly what she needed, exactly what would help push her towards a healthy relationship with her feelings and I did think, for just a moment, that an additional five swats would have been even better, that it would have truly reinforced the meaning behind the punishment and would have left an even longer impression.

The punishment ended just as quickly as it started and pet accepted each swat graciously and we were both proud of how she handled the pain. Once the last strike was laid, Master pulled pet close and hugged her, allowing her to cry and regroup. As pet calmed her breathing we all retired to the living room where we had dinner and watched some television. It was during this down time that I noticed pets' fingernails. There are a few rules pet has while in our home and one such rule dictates that her nails are well cared for and not dirty. As I was inspecting both her hands I noticed that numerous fingernails were dirty and all nails were not properly cared for. Generally I would have simply used my words to consequence such a misdemeanor; however, on that particular evening, I believed pet needed more than just my voice. Without reconsidering my thoughts, I instructed pet to move downstairs, to reside on her knees with her head placed on the floor, facing the cross and to wait for permission to rise.

In general I believe consequences/punishments that do not involve pain are far more effective for pet. There are occasions, such as the one earlier in the evening, where pain is effective but it must be intense, not even a hand spanking I believe is effective enough for pet to truly learn a lesson. Once pet was downstairs Master and I remained upstairs, discussing pet's behaviour and watching some television. After approximately 4 minutes, Master and I moved downstairs to free pet from her place and while down there something happened, something emotional inside of pet. I will not begin to speak on pets' behalf as I have mentioned before I do not believe it is fair to assume how another person feels. What I do know though is that as I hugged pet, lightly rubbing her back with my palm, I did not feel that usual empathy for pet. Rather I felt as though pet was experiencing exactly what she needed to be and that although it was challenging for pet, it was not something I would try to make better. I was not there to take away her feelings but rather stand firm so that she could not run, she could not bullshit her way out of whatever it was going on in her head and heart.

This does not mean I did not care for her, on the contrary. I care enough about pet to push her, to stand beside her while she experiences something new, something foreign, something awkward, something uncomfortable and to remain by her side until she comes out on the other side a happier and healthier pet. I think it was in that exact moment where pet seemed discombobulated and yet I felt very much in control of myself where I finally identified with Master when it comes to correcting my behaviours, when it comes to controlling me and pet even when I do not want it, even when pet does not think she wants it. Prior to that evening I truly did not understand why Master would push me the way he does, why Master has pushed pet. In many ways what Master was doing, what Master does do is tough love and that is something I absolutely understand.

I am not so cocky as to believe that I will not have moments where my empathy clouds my judgment; however, I now have a better understanding of the "why" behind Master's motives and that alone encourages me to continue with my own thoughts on correcting pets behaviour, on asking Master to correct my own behaviours. This was a monumental awareness for me and I feel far more confident in my place with Master, in our place with the pet. I feel connected to Master on a whole new level with regards to pet and I have faith that I will continue to make Master proud with my growth, with my ability to stand beside him in both play as well as correcting of pet.

Every day I learn a new lesson.
~His

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