I am uncertain as to the exact date; however, sometime during the past two weeks Master mentioned mummifying pet in layers of saran wrap combined with liquid latex all while placing a tube into her mouth as a means for her to breathe.  When Master first brought the subject up I was grossly uncomfortable with the idea of pet being completely engulfed with no means for us to truly know if she was okay.  Although the idea of mummification is erotic to me, I lack in the confidence of knowing when someone may or may not be in danger and the idea of having an entire head encased with so many layers, not to mention not having a free mouth or nose or eyes was concerning to me.

Having lived with myself for 36 years I have come to understand that I do panic when I feel a loss of control with regards to another persons safety.  I expressed my fears with Master who tried to subdue my trepidations, however there was just something about that particular act that prickled.  At the same time, I felt that I needed to trust Master, to surrender my doubts and follow Master's lead and have faith that Master would never attempt an activity he had not already researched and prepared for.  My expressions were genuine, I sincerely wanted Master to take control of the situation, simply put, I wanted Master to just pull the reigns and take me along for the ride.  This does not mean that my hesitation dissipated, it simply meant that I would turn over all responsibility to Master, that Master would be solely accountable for all that transpired and that I could feel safe knowing that everything was in Masters' hands.

Generally I do not walk away from responsibility; however, the more I spoke about this particular activity, the more I realised just how much my previous career has affected me.  My desire of not wanting to be accountable has nothing to do with my desire of not caring, of not wanting to help others but rather from the past ten years where people's lives truly were in my hands, where, numerous times I was controlling a persons life and that much power, that much authority was and still can be, overwhelming.  As odd as it was for this one instance to bring about such a revelation, the reality is I am still slightly tender from all that transpired in my previous career.  On those rare days when I think back to all my experiences, of the moments when I exchanged my life for that of a child's, when I stood in the line of fire from men and women who were hurting their own children, when I stood my ground in a courtroom, being cuffed and pulled from my Lords' chambers, threatened to be thrown in jail, well I am in awe that I am as sane as I am and at the same time I am not surprised that I feel slight panic when I feel as though I could be risking someones well being, that I am in control of someones life.

Since that first discussion, Master has altered his idea and has decided that pet will have a free mouth, free to speak should she need to.  I think it is a combination of me telling myself to give up all control, to obey Masters choices as well as hearing that pet will now be free to speak that I am far more comfortable with the idea and am looking forward to what the results will look like.  I have seen liquid latex on others and just today Master coated both my hands in the gooey substance, painting my hands with four layers of the heavy second skin.  It was a very interesting experience, the sensation of being bound with something that was once liquid.  I think the smell was the only down side as I continued to get a waft of the ammonia, well the smell and the extremely cool sensation after the latex had been in place for over an hour, (it felt similar to being in a wet suit in ice cold water).   Thankfully the pungent odor dissipated once dry; however the cool sensation remained even after I peeled the layers from my flesh.

Before freeing myself from the sunshine yellow goves I asked Master to take a few photographs, one of which is posted here in my journal.  Although I played with the colours it is easy to see by looking at my wrists just how much of a glove the latex turned into.  It truly felt like a rubber layer of skin and the idea that I was bound without rope or cuffs or chains or even saran wrap was titillatingly.  I think part of my mental excitement was due to how little of my body was painted and yet how helpless I felt.  The liquid had fused so that my fingers were completely stuck and the weight and general consistency of the liquid caused my fingers to curl inward making a "C" like shape of my hands.  Although I could walk around, I could see, I could hear, I could speak, the mere fact that my hands were held hostage provided an entirely new sensation and I dare say I liked it.  As much as I enjoyed feeling captive in such a debilitating manner, I was very happy when I felt the warm water bathe my skin, permitting me to pull back the rubberized liquid, freeing my slightly prune-ish fingers from the slippery encasing.

This experience was a positive one and I feel fortunate for Master giving me such an opportunity especially since Master has decided that I am to make a plan, to construct the details of what will occur, the story (in his words) involving the "how's" of mummifying pet with liquid latex.  When Master first told me I would be making the plans I was dumbfounded.  I had already expressed a desire of not wanting responsibility and yet somehow Master felt it was imperative that I be part of the process.  Before I had a chance to ask, Master shared with me that he felt I needed to understand, to truly believe that Master would take all necessary precautions to ensure pet was safe, that everyone is always safe.  My assignment, which I have not yet completed but have already done a great deal of research on, is to help me trust because as much as I say I do trust Master, there is a part of me that still worries, that still feels panic, that somehow believes Master might not take into consideration all possible outcomes.  I also think, although Master did not say this, that Master wants me to experience being in control of something and the risk not being the life threatening experiences I have had before, that being in control does not equate to fear or risk but instead it involves fun, excitement and pleasure, (and of course levels of safety but that goes without saying in this home and hopefully everywhere that kink resides).

Master has not given me an assignment in quite some time and as this one has brought great self awareness,  I wish to ensure I do my absolute best and that I make Master proud, showing him that I take his instructions seriously but also that it shows Master that I do trust him, trust him to ensure I am safe, pet is safe.  I still have much work to do before the assignment is complete and Master since Master has informed me that pet will not be experiencing the liquid latex mummification experience until I have completed my task I will be spending my time dedicated to handing Master my report very soon.

~His

Related reading:

1. Bound by trust (and a little bit of leather). Master is very cre­at­ive when it comes to build­ing devices...
2. Trust. TRUST. T — R — U — S — T. Why on earth is this still an issue? I am...
3. No means no. Or does it? I real­ise that many people who par­ti­cip­ate in kink related...
4. Lessons learned from a red bottom. The other even­ing pet came for a much needed visit....
5. Knife play. Knives.  How is it pos­sible that an instru­ment deemed as...