Slave musings

There is absolutely nothing like the possessive hold Master has when he grips my hair, pulls on my nipples, grabs my ass cheeks, cups my chin, wraps me in his arms.  The intensity and strength I feel whenever Master caresses me, fondles me, plays with me and or uses me creates a deep flutter in my stomach and I find myself erotically charged and completely consumed with lust and love.  The way in which Master touches me is like no other and although I treasure the moments when he is gentle, when his fingers whisper over my flesh, nothing compares to the rough and aggressive man handling Master offers me and I melt like a 1940’s starlet each and every time his fingers thread through my hair as he shoves my face to his cock or floor or whatever place he so desires.  Feeling the pressure of Masters fingers on the back of my head or deep inside my cunt brings about a wildness in me and it is because of Masters assertive manipulations that I feel safe to allow my inner beast to escape, to feed and to embrace all sexual pleasures I so often try to keep hidden.   And I do try to hide, to bury my deepest erotic thoughts. As to the why behind those actions, I am not certain; however, what I learned this past weekend is that I do not necessarily need Masters strong physical hold in order to release my sexual appetite, I can, if I am brave enough to ask, have Masters strong mental hold on me, a hold he can use to ensure I obey so that I can embrace the physical caress from a delicate, softer hand. A females hand.  Pets’ hand.

Not many women have intimately caressed me and the rare few have been very close to my heart.  When it comes to being intimate I have often been cautious; however, when it comes to women I believe my hesitation is ten fold simply because of the intimidation factor.  This weekend was no exception to my feelings and I felt an increase of vulnerability when I felt the soft fingertips of the pet lightly strum over the side of my breast.  Every part of me wanted to feel her tender touch;  every lustful fiber of my being wanted me to turn onto my back, exposing my flushed and aroused flesh; however, my instinct was to roll closer to Master, guarding myself, hiding myself.  Although I was aching for her little fingers to strum over my highly sensitive nipples I could not help but feel embarrassed, shy, nervous and oddly insecure.

The pet truly has beautiful breasts.  She has perky, full, extremely sensitive delectable breasts and both Master and I have admired them since our first meeting.  Her breasts have a youthfulness to them that, simply stated, mine do not and during that very early Sunday morning as I pressed my naked flesh to Master I suddenly felt inadequate compared to the young beauty.  In truth, I was afraid that if I rolled onto my back, exposing my not perfect mounds that I would disappoint the pet and she would no longer wish to touch me.  Simultaneously  though, I ached for physical attention and unlike my natural character, I pulled Master close and whispered for him to take control, to push me, to force me to accept her caresses.  Generally I would not ask, Master simply would do what he desired; however, due to my uncertainty, Master has granted me permission to make a few decisions on my own.  In that moment though I did not want it, I wanted Master to control, to, in essence, take responsibility for my actions.  Luckily for me, he did.

The moment I rolled onto my back and felt the tender strumming of her fingers along my heated skin, I gasped.  Her touch, the touch of pet was so foreign and yet unbelievably erotic that I almost felt wrong for enjoying it.  With my eyes closed and my fingers clasping Masters’ thigh I sighed as her palm graced over my breasts and along my torso.  There was something explicitly different about the way she touched me compared to Master and I was overwhelmed with sexual arousal.  To be engulfed by Master while pet stroked and teased my grossly hardened nipples, placed me in a euphoric high and I wanted more both for me and for Master.  If I could have, I would have cloned her right then so that her fingers could have remained on me all while her mouth serviced Master.  My greed was conflicted; however, my desire to share such pleasure with Master superseded my own selfish desires and so with great effort I pushed pet up from my blushing body and instead moved her to Masters’ side, wanting her to watch as I bathed Master with my tongue.  Earlier in the evening, Master had granted me permission to worship his cock and drink his cum; however, just as I was lustfully charged, so was Master and I knew, I felt in the very core of my being, that Master would take great pleasure from having pets’ mouth cunt swallow him.  After teasing pet for a few moments, listening to her beg as she stated she was desperate for cock as it had been so long, fifteen days, since she had sucked on one, both Master and I granted her permission and with the guidance of my fingers in her hair, I pulled her greedy lips to Masters already engorged cock head.

Watching another woman service Master was surreal. Unlike my preconceived notions, I did not feel any sense of sadness, on the contrary. I was electrified.  Seeing pets’ head move up and down, listening to her wet tongue lap at Masters’ cock; listening to the smacking sounds as pet slid her mouth cunt over Masters’ rigid pole caused my cunt to leak and quiver.  I became ravenous while watching her little throat try to swallow all of his length and with great hunger I kissed Master, devouring his lips, craving more.  There was something powerful about having put pet in her place, having pushed her face down on Masters’ cock and I could not help but want more and more and more.  As I laid close to Master, pressing my already overly sensitive nipples against his side, I found myself fantasizing about pet, images running wildly through my mind; pictures of Master fucking her well trained holes.  At one point during the evening, pet was instructed to rest her body over mine and as she pressed into me, Master played with her holes and the jerking movement Master created caused my cunt to drip and suddenly, while watching pets’ greedy mouth be put to use, I could not help but imagine  Master fucking pet while her body pressed into mine.  Even now as I sit here typing, that exact imagine pushes my mind and body to an erotic boiling point.  Much later, after Master and I had returned pet to her home, Master asked what it felt like for me to watch pet suck his cock and my response came without thinking, without hesitation. I told Master that I found it was hot. Incredibly hot.  I told Master that I was consumed with lust and power and control and I said something that made Master laugh and pull me even closer to his side, something that I am certain even caught him off guard.  While pet was on her knees sucking Masters’ cock, the one sentence that kept replaying over and over and over again in my head was: “That’s right bitch, service him.”

As I look at those words now, I can not help but giggle, those nervous, shy, oh my gosh, giggles.  When they were thought, when they were running through my mind though I was consumed with pleasure and did not want it to stop. And even though I am embarrassed by my thoughts, I would not trade that moment for anything.  In fact, I want even more of it.  And I know I do because there was a moment for me when Master was kissing my lips and tugging on my nipples while pet was servicing Master where I thought to ask Master to fuck her ass cunt.  The words were on the tip of my tongue; however, something, somewhere inside of me held back.  This past weekend was the first time pet has touched Masters’ cock  and I know that was something she had wanted for some time.  I also know that Master has been curious about what it will be like, what it will feel like to bury his cock into a new hole and I am certain it will happen sooner rather than later but last weekend was not the right time.  I am confident when it is right, I will not hesitate to ask.  In fact I feel very confident that when the time is right, when it feels right in my very core, I will beg Master to fuck pet, pleading with him and I have confidence that it will be just as arousing, if not more so, than watching pet fill her mouth cunt with Masters’ cock.

The sexual intensity over the course of last weekend was intoxicating and it was the first time that I had (and still do) felt completely comfortable and excited about having pet in our life.  Not once during our time together did I feel uncomfortable. Not once did I feel any sense of sadness or exclusion. Not once did I feel hesitation with regards to pet herself and the relationship we share with her.  What an amazing sensation to not only be participating but to be doing so with eager playfulness.

I am extremely hopeful with the relationship Master and I have with pet and I feel extremely confident that it will not be long before Master and I ask pet to be ours, to own her.  There is a sense of arousal I feel when it comes to the idea of owning pet, something extremely different from anything I have ever felt before and I am curiously happy to be filled with such emotion.

I think what I find most interesting about all that has transpired during this journey is that I feel even more aroused with Master.  All last week I craved him, wanted his touch and with the exception of Friday, I worshiped Masters’ cock every day, sometimes twice in a day.  Master refused me pleasure the pleasure of his cock on Friday as he wanted to tease me.  Allow me to say, the teasing worked.  Even last night, when my eyes were tired and I was fighting sleep I still wanted Master, still wanted his touch, his spanks, his aggressive man handling and I still wanted to suck him, to taste his cum.  Unfortunately sleep over ruled and although my cunt was leaking and I ached to be used, I had to obey my body and so I slept.  Still when I woke, I was reminded of how horny I was (am) and as Master left for work I began the countdown for his return.  (Even now, as the clock reads 3:24pm I can not help but rock in my seat, my cunt already leaking, wanting to be touched, wanting to touch Master.)

My sexuality, my awareness of my desires and lusts and passions seem to have unfolded before me and although I am still nervous, I know what I want and I know Master will be here to help me, to push me when I am scared to push myself.  For the first time I am truly appreciating the pleasure I can both give and receive.  I look forward to whatever this journey has to offer and although I know there will be moments of uncertainty, I believe in myself and I believe in Master.

I can not wait for Master to return home.  I can not wait to feel his hand on my flesh. To feel his hot breath trickle like dripping blood along my neck, to remind me of my place.

~His

Even in touch there is balance.7.073

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