My very first crush was on a boy. I con­tin­ued to be attrac­ted to men all through­out my young thirty-six years. I have spoken numer­ous times about my great appre­ci­ation for the male form and for men in gen­eral. My opin­ion on men has not changed nor do I believe it ever will. With that said though, I have had a crush on two women and have been phys­ic­ally intim­ate with three. My exchange with those three won­der­ful women is some­thing I treas­ure and I have only the utmost of love towards each of them. With that said though, would I ever have a part­ner who is a woman?

Master under­stands that I am drawn to the female form. Master and I have spoken of bring­ing in an addi­tion to our home, a sweet toy for both of us to play with and I am most def­in­itely more and more inter­ested in said pro­spect. Still, as much as I can become aroused at being phys­ic­ally intim­ate with the toy I believe my love for her would be very dif­fer­ent from the love my Master would feel. I would not have a “sis­ter” rela­tion­ship with her as many would describe it nor would I con­sider her my part­ner. We would be friends. Granted close friends but friends non­ethe­less. Just as I was intim­ate with my three friends in past years, I could and would want to be intim­ate with this new addi­tion and yes I would feel an attrac­tion to her — I would want to feel an attrac­tion to her — but I do not believe we would ever be a “couple”. (Not that we could be a couple since there would be three of us but “three­some” just was not the right word to use).

I can recall shar­ing one of my same sex exper­i­ences with a friend of mine at which point he smiled and said in a sly but kind voice, “I knew you were bi”. That was the first time I had ever heard any­one describe me in that man­ner and quite frankly it did not make sense to me. I do not label the intimacies I exper­i­ence, they are just moments in time that are spe­cial to me. Since that time many people have told me they were bi or that I was bi, even Master has stated so and yet for me I do not asso­ci­ate myself with such a title. I am puzzled by this need to label. When I have an angry moment I do not con­sider myself to be an angry per­son. When I have a happy moment I would not state I am a happy per­son. Emotions are fluid, why not sexuality?

There is some­thing extremely arous­ing about the female form. Interestingly though for me I am drawn to the tall, lean, small breasted but extremely fem­in­ine girl. With that said though, there have been numer­ous times when I have been stunned by the beauty of a full bus­ted, hip swell­ing woman. The female creature comes in all dif­fer­ent forms and although I have a pref­er­ence, I can be sur­prised by who cap­tures my atten­tion. Regardless of the body my desires towards women are very dif­fer­ent than with men.

When I am with a man I want him to be dom­in­ant, con­trolling and extremely power­ful. I also appre­ci­ate a man who is slightly sad­istic with a desire to humi­li­ate and degrade me, (min­im­ally so). With women I want someone who is sub­missive and a def­in­ite mas­ochist. I want a woman who is extremely fem­in­ine, who feels “little” when being dom­in­ated. I am not men­tally attrac­ted to dom­in­ant females, in fact I am most often scared of women who demon­strate a dom­in­ant per­sona. It is not that I do not like the women her­self I simply do not desire to be intim­ate with a power­ful woman. Perhaps part of that is because I have most often felt inad­equate with women, that women tend to be judg­mental and I can say this because I can be just this way.

The female creature is divine and one who has been the cause to many events. There have been wars star­ted due to women; poems inspired because of women; works of art cre­ated all because of women and so it only makes sense that I would be attrac­ted to such a being, who wouldn’t be?

When I think of the toy that Master and I will one day bring to our fam­ily I know I become aroused almost imme­di­ately. There are many reas­ons for this excite­ment and one such reason is selfish, my pleas­ure. True I want the toy to bring Master delight, great pleas­ure for that mat­ter, but I know that I too will receive great enjoy­ment from such a sweet plaything. I also know that everything we exper­i­ence will be new and some­times chal­len­ging, espe­cially since I am not so cer­tain how com­fort­able I am with another woman explor­ing me. For the most part it is I who has explored the female when being intim­ate, not the other way around. I know though that in the world of Master, everything I do to the sweet thing will be done to me. A little “tit for tat” so to speak. The one thing that I think about the most when ima­ging this pretty little toy is kiss­ing her. Unlike kiss­ing a man, there is some­thing extremely soft and sen­sual with the female mouth: those soft supple lips are sub­lime. This does not mean a kiss between two women is more intense than that of a kiss between a man and women, just dif­fer­ent. Unique all unto its own.

I look for­ward to whatever exper­i­ences are wait­ing in the future and I know that no mat­ter what brings me arousal, what causes my being to ignite, the only title that is true to who I am is: me. I am me.

~His

I love my hair. I always have. I loved my hair even more when I was younger and it was a wave of nat­ural red and auburn tones; how­ever, due to the magic of sci­ence I am able to attain any shade I want now through the help of won­der­ful styl­ists and dyes. As much as my hair has changed, vary­ing in length, cut and design, I con­fess I am still unbe­liev­ably vain about my ever grow­ing locks. My proud hair van­ity is some­thing any­one who has ever spent even an hour with me knows about and I do not apo­lo­gise for my behaviours.

Since meet­ing Master I have found I am drawn to pretty things, pretty people and want­ing to pret­tify myself. Although slight make up such as mas­cara and lip gloss have always been a part of my routine, I am find­ing now that I want to play with make up, go to extremes and alter my facial fea­tures with the sheer magic of cos­met­ics, mac cos­met­ics for the most part. In addi­tion to make up I have found myself drawn to dainty frilly pretty cloth­ing with fem­in­ine col­ours and wisps of lace and satin.

I have always been a true little girl at heart. When I was young all I owned were pink dresses, pink blouses, pink pants, pink skirts, pink, pink, pink and from what my mother has shared with me, I went an entire year where I would never wear a pair of pants — dresses or skirts only. As I aged though and styles, life, beha­viours changed so did my ward­robe. Now though, I feel more con­fid­ent to be fem­in­ine, to express the girl, the woman and yes, even the lady (a term Master dis­likes) that I am. I am aware that body image has a great deal to how I dress and I am not happy with my body right now, it does not always obey me and I have been strug­gling for a long time with its stub­born­ness but I am more con­fid­ent now than I have been in a long time and I know it will only get better.

Beauty to me is about being healthy, being proud, vain even and hav­ing the con­fid­ence to express that beauty not only to the world around you but to your­self as well. I know hav­ing Master in my life has been the cata­lyst for my van­ity and although many believe such a trait to be neg­at­ive I find it has been a won­der­ful devel­op­ment for me. I would be lying if I said I did not want to be beau­ti­ful for Master, for I do. I abso­lutely want Master to look at me and think he has someone lovely in his life. I want Master to feel proud of me, inside and out and this sen­sa­tion drives me to be con­tinue to per­fect myself, in all areas. As a slave I want Master to want me just as I want him and I know this new found love for myself will only con­tinue to motiv­ate me to take pride in who I am, to be vain.

With that said though, I hope to retain humil­ity and to stay humble so that I never stop striv­ing, never stop desir­ing to bring beauty to this world.

~His pretty slave