There once was girl, who a little curl
right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good she was very very good.
But when she was bad she was horrid.
The idea of being bad or otherwise referred to in the world of kink as naughty, most often leaves me discombobulated and awkward. The mere thought of deliberately disobeying Master creates prickles along my neck causing my heart to beat in hurried palpitations. Oddly enough though, after reading a journal I have come to appreciate, I found myself mesmerized by the thought of purposefully pushing Master’s boundaries.
I have painstakingly spent a gratuitous amount of time focusing on behaving and trying to follow through with Masters expectations. In fact I most likely focus too much attention monitoring every step I take, all actions I make, every word I speak. I have learned that I link my worth to my obedience and in moments when I have felt I failed Master, I contemplated if my value depreciated. Of course these are strictly my feelings as Master has never once indicated that any error I make devalues who I am and how much he loves me. Only recently have I come to understand that it is in my failures that I actually gain success because I learn from each of them, I grow from them and I become a stronger person.
With that being said though, my new found thoughts of willfully rejecting a desire of Masters has nothing to do with learning but rather of mischievousness. To flirt with the flames that could potentially burn me, has suddenly awoken what can only be described as my own little devil, perched eagerly upon my right shoulder. Do not misunderstand though, I do not wish to jump into the fire itself but perhaps merely enjoy a flicker or two of a hot flame, feeling it strike my flesh, leaving me with a reminder of decadence.
These new raw sensations somehow make me ponder about a sweet little fairy whom I treasured as a child: tinkerbell. I use to believe this sweet fairy was just playful but now I wonder if there wasn’t just a little bit of puck in her?
~His wicked girl
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