Learning to speak the same language.
There are numerous obstacles a slave must overcome in order to master giving over control. One of the most challenging for myself is trying to be a strength for my Owner, the man I love and cherish all while remaining obedient. In times when I have witnessed a quietness within Him, an essence of exhaustion, i feel bound by His desires for me to _not_ fuss over Him and my instinct to wrap my arms around His strong frame and remind Him that I am here for support.
I recall a very distinct conversation between Master and myself in the very early stages after professing our love to one another. Master was having a difficult day with regards to work and I told Him that I "supported Him" with whatever decision He was going to make. I was surprised by His words when He told me He did not need my support, that He only needed me to be His good obedient slave. This was the first of many similar conversations and I found myself left feeling defeated after each one. I was trying to show Him that I was here for Him and that even "big strong dominant men" need a shoulder to lean on every once and awhile. Master refuted any support from me and after two years I became grossly frustrated and eventually exploded in anger.
I felt as though Master was stripping me of my womanly rights to be the strong but feminine supportive slave on His arms - the girl who would stand by her man no matter what. My disappointment came from believing Master did not trust me with His feelings and that He was guarding that element of who He was from me. I spoke without grace, without reservation and within moments I was crying, which only created a deeper level of anger for now I felt as though Master would need to tend to my emotions when all I wanted was to tend to His.
Or so I thought.
Master did not; however, comfort me, rather He told me to be silent, put me on my knees and fucked my throat, slapping me three times across my face. I was a conundrum of emotion as I felt wild hostility combined with uninhibited love. I knew, with every thrust, every hot sting upon my cheek that Master was using me for His release.
I am uncertain as to how long Master choked me with His cock, what I do know though is I felt Masters lips softly wipe my still flowing tears as he pulled me tight against His body, telling me what a good girl I was. As His whispers caressed me I felt all combativeness wash away and as my body relaxed I felt the tension leave Masters as well.
We were quiet, nestled close and I felt my lips part, my brain igniting my tongue to wiggle and allow words to walk out of my mouth, fortunately I caught myself before I spoke. I knew the answer to the question I was about ask; I understood for the first time what Master had meant during all of our debates about support and me being there for Him.
I nuzzled close, placing my ear to His chest, taking great comfort from His warmth. My eyes closed and I fell into a deep sleep knowing I accomplished all I had ever wanted; I had supported Master by being exactly what He wanted: a good obedient slave.
There are moments when I still want to express my care and concern for Master and although He has allowed me other outlets to be by His side, I know the best way to ensure He feels comforted by me is to offer, without reservation, all of me; the slave He owns and loves.
~His slave
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Tuesday,August 26,2008 at 8:54 pm
Wednesday,August 27,2008 at 5:33 pmgoodgirl
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jerusha
i always respect Masters choices, it is just a difficult conclusion to accept. Needless to say though I am doing much better with it and understanding how I can help soothe Him in a way that meets His needs not mine.
In warmth,
~His grace
Wednesday,August 27,2008 at 3:49 amjerusha
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i can understand his point.. That being said, i would have been hurt too initially. i have heard people say slaves are weak and feeble minded. i challenge those arseholes to submit to someone else’s will for a day. Most people are so willful and selfish that they just couldn’t do it. It’s sad but unfortunately true..