All of me.
I have known for a very long time that I am a person who is often seen by many. I exude a sense of confidence that attracts people to me and I, more often than not, am comfortable with the audience that embraces me. I possess a gift for conversation and entertaining others with my sense of humour, intellect and genuine interest. Without much, if any effort, I frequently become a focal point of conversation, commanding with acceptance, the attention of those I share a room with.
I am a leader, described by many as an alpha female. Regularly I guide, motivate, coach and encourage others to take the initiative, to risk big and to appreciate all lessons which come from ones mistakes. I am viewed as powerful, direct, patient and strong by the outside world: an independent woman who jumps at all opportunities for experience.
The image I project is not a farce. When I am engaging with colleagues, family members, friends, acquaintances, even complete strangers I illuminate with a sense of peace and welcoming. I feel comfortable in my body, with my words and I enjoy sharing who I am. This sense of reality begins to slip though when I become quiet, slowly embracing the inner me: the girl, the slave, the dolly. I am no longer ashamed of these aspects of who I am, however, I am still learning their voices.
Each characteristic of who I am has a distinct voice. The girl is feminine and soft, agreeable and pleasing in a romantic whimsical manner; often times timid and in need of reassurance. The slave, the entirety of who I am, is a conundrum exhibiting both fear and strength; learning to feel absolution in all sexual pleasures. And the dolly, whose voice is growing exponentially, is malleable, easily lead into deviance without guilt, without inhibitions.
I use to keep those three powerful voices secret from the world. I sheltered myself from raised eyebrows, gasping mouths and disapproving looks, not wanting to deviate from the persona I had born. I manipulated the truest part of my being into thinking I would not be accepted should I be seen soft, controlled, decorated in barbie fashion. I spent far too much effort silently mocking girls who I witnessed participating in such mannerisms. (In truth, I was mocking myself.)
The reality is there will always be critics in this world, but what I desire, who I am, is not wrong and I am finding I want to show more of my voices to the world, to myself. I became very aware of my new found desires while in Toronto with Master. During our stay I was instructed to wear my lovely pink leather collar at all times. At first I felt grossly uncomfortable, feeling numerous eyes gazing upon my neck. Eventually the gazes turned into comments and then finally lengthy conversations. The initiation of our interactions stemmed from the collar; however, after a few awkward sentences, I found I was my usual captivating persona and eventually I forgot about my collar, (to the point where I became surprised when someone would make a comment as I just felt completely at ease wearing it.)
I learned a valuable lesson during my exposure; that I am the sum of all my parts and giving all voices a platform ensures my growth. And so, here now, I will show some of my parts, (a little burned from the sun mind you.)
I am powerful in my slaveness, in my girlhood, in the dolly that is me.

Always,
~His grace
Related reading:
- Traffic jam in my neurological highway. I feel as though the thoughts in my mind are...
- Making friends, finding my dolly A little while back I went to an adult toy...
- penciled exposure. A picture speaks a thousand words so what does a...
- The mask uncovers the truth. In the beginning a lie appears to be the easy...
- The complexity of a dolls sexuality. Many years ago a very good friend of mine described...
Monday,August 18,2008 at 5:13 pm
Friday,August 22,2008 at 5:07 pmgoodgirl
| link
jerusha
Goodness before I met Master I was probably considered by many as a walking vault: I disclosed nothing. I shared nothing with anyone and refused to expose myself (mentally and physically) even to myself. In a nut shell, I was relatively retentive.
I still feel reserved from time to time but I am slowly opening up and feeling less and less shame. Shame is a powerful emotion. Through my writings and reading others I have found a solace knowing that we are all unique and yet we share a common bond. Comforting to say the least.
I do hope that your time away from your Master passes quickly. My Master and I will see each other soon but in the mean time I am fortunate for what we have. We have had a distant relationship since the beginning, over three years now, and we have come to acceptance — but — this too shall pass and we will be under the same roof permanently soon.
I wish you and your Master a wonderful evening. Please feel free to e-mail me at: masterslittleturtle@gmail.com
In warmth,
~His grace
Friday,August 22,2008 at 10:33 amjerusha
| link
i tend to be a very private person myself and blogging online was about as appealing as going for multiple root canal sans a local anesthetic. Before Master, i didn’t reveal my true self to anyone.
i must say His judgement in this case was right on target. Through blogging i have been able to rid myself of emotional baggage and past hang ups. When i settle into a blogging home, i’ll be sure to let you know where i settle in.
Master mentioned He would like to blog on occassion when time permits. i have not spoken with Him in over 3 days. It sure is weird not speaking to Him for so long. Since Master and i have started speaking there has not been a day that we have not talked at least once. i wake in the middle of the night expecting him to be at my side and he is not. Wwe will be reunited on 5 December for good. i do not know if He or the Army will allow me to visit while He is in training at His next station.
Communication will be sporatic at best and nonexistant at worst. i am a strong woman and will wait patiently for my Master to come and get me.
Any word on when you and your master will live in the same domicile?
Friday,August 22,2008 at 9:16 amgoodgirl
| link
jerusha,
I had a feeling your name was Hebrew, what a powerful meaning and obviously befitting for you and your Master. I
I have come across numerous blogs as well and many blogs written by alternative individuals appear to come from “Blogger”. I recommend that you try that site for a future home for your writings.
Ahh, the losers. I remember when I first approached this world via online and I had many men reply with “hey bitch, get on your knees and suck my cock”. Obviously I was honoured to have such men ask for my attention *insert sarcasm*. I quickly removed any such person from my environment and I have found no such negative replies on this site. I do know others have had comments that are negative; however, I do not believe my site is exploited to the degree most others are and so no rude comments have been left, thankfully. Oh I take that back, once, a long time ago. Still, my readers have been lovely. I am lucky.
I never wanted to write in a journal before, not online, to share with the world. My Master enforced such a task. I am thankful for that for now I thrive on having a place of release where others of like mind can respond and share. How I grow.
As for contact, I appreciate your Master wanting to be polite with regards to asking my Master permission for us to e-mail; however, no worries. My Master encourages me to speak with other like minded individuals and I have a great sense of freedom when it comes to communicating online. Still, the respect is greatly appreciated.
So in other words, absolutely it is more than okay for us to e-mail one another.
I hope your Master returns home soon.
Thank you for your correspondence and kindness.
~His grace
Friday,August 22,2008 at 3:54 amjerusha
| link
His grace,
Thank you for the compliment. jerusha is Hebrew, it means possession.
Master and i had companion blogs at Open Diary at one point. i was thrilled when i saw that others were doing the same. i do not blog at Open Diary any more. The moderator got his knickers in a wad over the content of the diary. On top of that, the crowd there was really harsh. i got told that i needed therapy for being a slave. i got comments that told me i was setting back the feminist movement. Funny, i didn’t realize i had the power to single handedly do that. i also got some comments from vulgar pigs telling me that i should come over to their place and they would have their way with me. i guess they did not expect me to note their diary back and tell them that i belong to one man AND that their ages were probably higher than their IQ. This slave may be submissive to Master, but there is no way i will take crap from those nasty idiots!!
It is so sad that people equate slavery with weakness. It is so far from the truth. i know that i am preaching to the choir here.
Master has ordered me to start blogging again. Do you have suggestions for a good blogging site? I have looked at a lot of them and well, honestly i have been too depressed with Master away to think straight.
Oh, i forgot to mention. My master said it was okay for you to email me, if you would like. He said that He would have asked your master if it was okay if we email, but He is unable to be on the computer while He is Army training. i do not know the rules that your master has about communicating with others.
Thank you for being here. i appreciate it
Thursday,August 21,2008 at 9:53 pmgoodgirl
| link
jerusha
what a pretty name, what does it mean?
Thank you for your comments, I greatly appreciate knowing that what I share has meaning for someone other than myself. Being alpha in the real world is positively stimulating and yet I greatly feel comforted when I can remove that mask and simply embrace the dolly slave I am.
Once more, thank you. So very much.
In warmth,
~His grace
Thursday,August 21,2008 at 2:51 pmjerusha
| link
It is funny how the public perception of slaves is very contrary to the reality. i, too, am an alpha female. i am very competitive and in the world outside of my home, i am the one who organizes and gives orders. It is so refreshing to come home and let that weight drop off and to submit to Master’s orders. It is ironic that i feel most free when my will is surrendered and wrapped in my restraints.
It was a pleasure to see you and your adorable collar. Once again, thanks for sharing.
Thursday,August 21,2008 at 9:21 amgoodgirl
| link
Master Of Venice
Thank you for your kind compliment. Exposing that picture was one of my most challenging obstacles to overcome. The greatest part though was _i_ asked Master if I could post pictures, not the other way around. I was simply ready to share a bit more.
There will be more pictures, slowly, but surely and of course I will continue to share my training.
I appreciate your time to my journal and should you ever have any questions, please feel free to ask, I am open to answering.
In warmth,
~His grace
Wednesday,August 20,2008 at 10:05 amMaster Of Venice
| link
When I got to the end of your post I almost shouted. To see your face and beautiful brown eyes peering out at us, was a quite a surprise! Thanks for sharing. Now I’m wondering what kind of gag is hidden beneath that very dolly-like pink leather. And of course, I would love to see more photos of you and your training.
Once again, thanks for having the courage to share.