He built me up.

.…

i was greedy when i woke. i was still greedy after i cli­maxed. Once. Twice. Forty-seventh. i had pushed this slave into over forty-seven cli­maxes in just over an hour and i was still aching for Masters touch. i wanted, nay i needed to be stuffed, fucked, used, loved by Master and noth­ing i was doing on my own was mak­ing the itch go away.

i was des­per­ate. i knew i would not have Masters cock in me any­time soon and so i tele­phoned Master des­per­ate to hear His voice. His phone rang but once and went dir­ectly to His voice mail.

“Fuck!” Was all i could man­age. i sat still, cling­ing to every word He spoke on His mes­sage and once i heard the beep i began to plead. i begged Master to help me. i needed Master to soothe the ache, to take away this over­whelm­ing lust and inab­il­ity to calm down. i pleaded for Master to take away the intens­ity of my lust filled des­per­a­tion. And once i hung up the phone, i cli­maxed again.

i can not recall how many orgasms i have had today, the num­ber is far to large to count on all fin­gers and toes included. Even as i write this all i can think about is slip­ping my fin­ger under my panties and play with His very tender and slightly bruised clit until i scream with exhaus­tion. Only i never seem exhausted any­more — not from cum­ming that is.

Something has happened deep within my core. i think about Master and fuck­ing and suck­ing and cum­ming all day, 24/7. No mat­ter how often Master pleas­ures His slave girl, it never quenches my orgasm thirst. i bring myself to orgasm con­tinu­ally and i still ache for Master to give them to me as well. In fact some­times it feels as though i crave Masters orgasms even more after play­ing with myself without Him. When i cum without Master it is a tease to my slave self. i cum but it is without that strong and lov­ing hand of Master. (i am scratch­ing the itch but never really quite hit­ting it.)

Master always scratches the orgas­mic itch. Today He scratched it con­tinu­ously. But some­thing else tran­spired today as well. Today was dif­fer­ent from any other day with Master. i was both lost and con­nec­ted with Master today. i was both sob­bing and laugh­ing with Master. i was both growl­ing and beg­ging for more: more pain, more pleas­ure, more con­trol, more force, more ten­der­ness. i was a gyr­at­ing oxy­moron for Master — beg­ging Master to stop and in the same breath beg­ging Master to give me more.

i was con­flic­ted today; this con­flict brought great emo­tion. i had been crav­ing Master and finally once W/we were together i just wanted fin­ger snaps and com­mands of “cum” to fill my(Masters) body. Master had other plans though. Master instruc­ted His little slave to grab one of the kit­chen chairs and place the very large, flesh toned, real life throatcunt fuck­ing toy dildo and place it on the chair. Master wanted to fill His asscunt and He had picked the largest obstruc­tion W/we own to do so. i was ter­ri­fied, pet­ri­fied for i have not had any­thing that large in Masters’ asscunt for a very long time. i star­ted to wimper and i sud­denly became angry and i did not want to obey and yet i still wanted to be a good girl for Master.

As much as i did not want to place Masters’ asscunt down onto that cock, i did. i pushed the bulbous head into Masters tight hole and imme­di­ately i felt pain. Rationally i knew the pain was as intense as it was because i was res­ist­ing. i was fight­ing with Masters com­mands and for the first time i ques­tioned why. i do not like to fight Masters wishes. i want to fol­low through and in doing so bring pleas­ure to both my Master and myself. Today i was fight­ing, and des­per­ately so. i man­aged to slip my(Masters) asscunt all the way down the toy and i begin to whim­per, feel­ing warm tears well up in my eyes.

Truth be told, it was not so much pain­ful as it was dif­fi­cult. i was unable to relax Masters asscunt in a man­ner i know would help me feel pleas­ure. i became chal­len­ging in my mind and i was res­ist­ing any and all pleas­ure Master was try­ing to give me. i kept fight­ing, beg­ging Master to allow me to sit up and off of the chair so that the pres­sure would be less on His asscunt but He refused. i was scream­ing on the inside, try­ing to con­vince Master to change His mind and yet He never did. i was engulfed in a new sen­sa­tion and i had no idea how to deal with it. So i asked Master for per­mis­sion to growl.

i did not want to dis­respect Master. i hated the idea of hurt­ing Master by being rude and so i asked Master if i could growl and Master said “yes”. And did i growl. i con­tin­ued to growl through­out the entire three hours Master used His cunt. i growled in moments i can not even remem­ber now. In fact i can not remem­ber much of today except that Master had me cum a mul­ti­tude of times and that Master did not ease up on His con­trol with me, not even once.

Although i can not remem­ber everything i do recall being on all fours, cry­ing, cum­ming, scream­ing, beg­ging and sud­denly, out of no where i am plead­ing with Master to “help me let go”. Looking back i really had no idea what i meant by that but i knew i needed Master to help me release and not in a phys­ical sense, but rather an emotional.

Throughout the entire day of Master tak­ing His slave and fuck­ing, teas­ing, toy­ing with her, i was in a con­stant battle of res­ist­ance. Initially i believed i was res­ist­ing Master; but the truth is, i was res­ist­ing myself. For some unknown reason i was res­ist­ing the slave in me. i was fight­ing who i was and i could not wrap my head around why. i was deny­ing who i was and what i wanted and for what? i had, some­where along the way, decided i would not relin­quish any sense of emo­tional con­trol only i did not under­stand why. This intense con­fu­sion cre­ated even more emo­tion in me and i found myself cry­ing through­out the entire after­noon. Although i was try­ing to remain in con­trol, my sobs most cer­tainly were not. i cried con­tinu­ally as Master fucked me raw, used His holes and viol­ated His slaves’ poor tender clit. (Master used what W/we call the evil device — a suc­tion like cap that closes over the clit and then is pumped, caus­ing the clit to become engorged. Once the clit is big and sens­it­ive, prong like fin­gers push into the clit cre­at­ing a pain like noth­ing i have ever exper­i­enced. i do not like this toy. This toy is evil.)

i cried when i was cum­ming and i cried when i had stopped. i cried. And i cried. And some­where between the orgasms and the growl­ing and the tear stained face i released; and not just in a phys­ical way. i released all that remain­ing self doubt, insec­ur­ity and shame and placed them in Masters heart. All the neg­at­ive aspects of my slave­ness were truly no longer mine to embrace. They were Masters.

When this exchange took place, i spoke to Master, in between sobs, telling Master “this is what it is to be broken, to break”. Looking back i real­ise just how wrong i was.

On the contrary.

Master was not break­ing me, rather Master was build­ing me up. Master was empower­ing me to be true to myself, my desires, my lusts, my pas­sions and my ser­vitude. Master was giv­ing me the gift of free­dom from myself. And once i had accep­ted this beau­ti­ful gift from Master, i finally became sated. Masters’ cunt finally relaxed, my muscles aching and twitch­ing; Masters’ mind sud­denly slowed down and my eye­lids felt heavy. Masters’ soul became quiet and i could just breathe. And i did. i inhaled then exhaled — slowly. i felt my(Masters’) breasts rise and fall and within minutes i was finally asleep.

i slept many hours after Masters and my time together. my sleep was deep, quiet and without dreams but com­pletely blanketed in an embrace of love. i woke feel­ing stronger and extremely sat­is­fied but still with a very deep long­ing to please my Master — to be His proud, sexual, growl­ing fuck beast.

i am Masters’ slave.

~His

i am not a typ­ical girl who remem­bers dates or spe­cial anniversar­ies; how­ever, i remem­ber moments. Moments that have cap­tured my heart and still touch me after years have passed.

i remem­ber the first time i truly felt Masters love. Interestingly enough it was not when He first told me He loved me but rather it was the first time i told Him. W/we had been speak­ing for over an hour and dur­ing that con­ver­sa­tion He told me He loved me and i had respon­ded in the man­ner i had for over a month now, “and i adore You Master”. There was a second of a pause when i heard a ques­tion that had never escaped Masters lips before.

Master: “I know you adore me. Do you love me?“
Long pause.
me: “i adore You Master, You know that.“
Master: “Yes. I know you adore me baby girl, but do you love me?“
Another long pause. my heart was pound­ing deep in my chest and i felt a sen­sa­tion of fear and hap­pi­ness. i was scared but i wanted Him to know just how much He meant to me.
me: “Yes. Master.“
Long pause.
me: “i love You Master. Yes. i love You”.

In that moment Master entered my entire being. i felt Him blanket me and there has not been a moment since that exchange where i have not felt Him inside me. And with each new day i feel His pres­ence ever more and today was no exception.

Today i felt Master on a level i have never exper­i­enced before. i did not feel tight restraints; i did not feel a beau­ti­fully suf­foc­at­ing col­lar; i did not feel His whis­per dir­ect­ing me. Today i felt Him — imprin­ted on my soul and deeply nestled in my heart. my responses and reac­tions to moments dur­ing the day came without thought but on reflex of free­dom of a slave and free­dom of an owned girl. Today i was lib­er­ated without embar­rass­ment and or shame. Today He was in me, guid­ing me so effort­lessly and yet gracefully.

i often think about what Master would say or do or think. Today i merely “did” and in those moments of “doing” He was in me. Holding me and lov­ing me. This is where Master has been tak­ing me. This is truly the begin­ning of O/our journey.

Today i fell in love with Master all over again.

~His lov­ing slave