Generally, i am a pleaser. i always have been. i take great pride and pleasure from knowing i have made someone happy whether that person be a parent, a sibling, a friend or my Master. i have spent my life desiring to ensure i am known as a pleaser and thankfully i have a Master who understands my inner tickings and allows me to push past boundaries so that i continue to fulfill my passion of pleasing.

There have been moments when i have doubted myself with Master; wondering if i was still pleasing to Him. Often times, Master understands my doubt without even having said anything to Him and so He pushes me - pushes me mentally, physically and sexually - past limits that i have made for myself.

On Wednesday, i truly needed to please Master and in His magical ways, He understood that and He pushed me into expressing desires in a raw and uninhibited manner. i am often shy, still, after all this time, in speaking explicitly. i will do so in jest but when it comes to honestly sharing with words, i hesitate.

i have always wanted to be a "lady" and i have worked,diligently, to do so. When i first met Master, He told me very early on that He was not looking for a lady, He wanted a slave. i was in shock when i first heard such a statement from Master. i was devastated that the person i had worked so hard on becoming was something He no longer wanted me to be.

i felt that i had to give up my "lady-ness" to become His slave and for some reason there is still a lingering part of "that" girl who still wants to be a lady and not want i have always loathed, "a slut". Even though i have always used the word "slut" in a positive manner, empowering the word, when i refer to sex and sexuality i cringe still to this day when i hear it or think of myself as a "slut" (even if i know there is nothing negative about that word).

i pleased Master on Wednesday when i opened myself to being uninhibited without His direction or instruction - i just "let go" and became His slave. His complete and owned slave.

i am honoured to have Master in my life and for the pushes He continues to give me. i am His girl.

i am His slut.

~His slave

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