When i was very young, between the ages of 3 to approx­im­ately 17, i appeared to have abso­lutely zero dif­fi­culty with con­flict and com­bat­ive con­ver­sa­tions, in fact, if any­one were to ask my fam­ily how i felt about arguing, the major­ity of them would state i thrived on it.

Somewhere along the path of my life, i have become appre­hens­ive when embra­cing a dif­fer­ence of opin­ion and gen­er­ally i turn inward, silen­cing my feel­ings in hopes that i do not offend any­one or worse, jeop­ord­ize the rela­tion­ship i had. There have been count­less times when i had been speak­ing with a friend, fam­ily or pre­vi­ous boy­friend and i became frus­trated and wished to debate about a topic or even engage in a full fledge argue­ment, but i did not. i can not remem­ber a time in any rela­tion­ship that i actu­ally argued, let alone had a “fight”. With the excep­tion of extremely rare moments when i raised my voice, slightly, i have not so much as cre­ated fric­tion in any rela­tion­ship since i gradu­ated high school.

i have come to the con­clu­sion that i fear con­flict; i fear dis­ap­point­ing those i love; i worry that i will cre­ate a con­flict so great the rela­tion­ship will suf­fer and per­haps end. These doubts sur­faced last night when i engaged in a con­ver­sa­tion with Master. Obviously, the topic of Masters’ and my con­ver­sa­tion was not life alter­ing as i am unable to remem­ber exactly what i said to cre­ate anger in Master; but what i do recall is that i was angry; angry and unsure how to cope with it — where to place it?

i abso­lutely love and adore Master. i want to be His slave every day for the rest of my life and i feel extremely cher­ished and for­tu­nate to have Master as my Owner. i can not ima­gine, nor do i wish to ima­gine liv­ing a life where i do not have Master own­ing me; claim­ing me; how­ever, my love for Master does not mean i do not become angry with Him; His choices.

What it means though is that i will work through any­thing and everything to keep O/our rela­tion­ship
strong and pas­sion­ate; with me being an obed­i­ent, happy, lov­ing owned slave. i would not be the per­son i am had i not met Master and i do not ever wish to live a life that i use to have; but, i still become angry with Master from time to time and this is where my con­flict arises.

How do i work through my anger? How do i express my anger without being dis­obedi­ent? When is it okay to voice my anger? There are times when Master pushes me, com­mands me, con­trols me in a way that makes me growl and scream on the inside. This aggres­sion lies deep within Masters’ slave core and i still wish to behave, to do as Master wishes but i am still angry.

i do not like being angry and i abso­lutely loathe con­flict but some­times i get mad and i still do not know what to do with it. i have learned to ask Master per­mis­sion to growl and almost always Master says yes i can; how­ever, as i exper­i­enced the other night, there will be times when Master does not allow growl­ing. So where do i go from there?

i never wish to make Master angry or upset with me and in fact when i hear that awful dis­ap­point­ment in Masters tone, i just want to cry; how­ever, some­times i do dis­ap­point Master and con­sequences must fol­low. But with all that said, how do i express my anger all while still being Masters prize slave?

i will speak with Master regard­ing these thoughts as i wish to always please Master and make Him proud to own me.

~Masters obed­i­ent slave

Master abso­lutely desires sym­metry. i learned this spe­cific char­ac­ter­istic of Master when He first learned that my (His) right nipple was pierced but not my (His) left. Since that first intro­duc­tion to Masters’ breasts, He has stated how very much He wishes for the left nipple to be adorned with jew­el­ery and at last, it is.

Yes, my (His) left nipple was pierced on Tuesday September 18, 2007 and now, at last Masters slave is symmetrical.

i was elated when i heard the tone in Masters voice as i told Him i became marked for Master. i leaked imme­di­ately as Master expressed His pride in His slave and all i wanted to do was shout to the world that i became marked for Master. i also wanted to scream from the pain. Yes, pain. i do not recall the other pier­cing hurt­ing as much as this one and i was even dis­trac­ted with this pier­cing as Masters’ cunt was stuffed with O/our favour­ite toy. The pain is still a deep tis­sue throb­bing sen­sa­tion; how­ever, instead of not want­ing to ache, i want it even more. Feeling this level of pain for Masters’ mark ignites an essence of slavery deep within my core and instead of wish­ing it would go away, i want to feel it deeper — to my core.

Master’s mark is a sym­bol of O/our love for one another; for the loy­alty W/we share with each other and the prom­ise to be Master and slave through­out O/our entire jour­ney together. i look for­ward to being Masters’ slave for the rest of my life and i will strive to be the best slave Master has ever wished for.

~Masters newly nipple pierced slave