shame (shām) pro­nun­ci­ation n.

Master has been train­ing His slave for over a year now and as i grow i become more accept­ing of who i am and what i am to Master. Having said that, there are still times when i feel shame for my desires and that infuri­ates me. i wish i was able to shrug my shoulders to any and all soci­etal restric­tions that i have been raised around but it appears to be a much stronger chal­lenge than i expected.

Master has expressed such pride for His slave and all the obstacles i have over­come and i pos­it­ively beam with joy know­ing i have and do make Master proud to own me. i want every day to be a moment of pleas­ure for Master and loathe that my shame taints His pride — but it does — in my (Masters) heart that is.

i have shared with Master every desire i have ever had. i have opened my (Masters) heart com­pletely and without fear and i truly do not fear rejec­tion from Master for what i crave. i believe Master will not judge me nor ridicule me for what makes His cunt leak — i have faith in Master and His words. In recent weeks i have pushed myself con­tinu­ally to not run from my dark­ness and when i am explor­ing with Master i feel as power­ful as Wonder Woman.

Still, when i think of shar­ing all that Master and i have exper­i­enced i can not help but worry someone will be judging me. my wor­ries are nat­ural as i know i judge people so why would they not judge me. i believe it is human nature to make some form of judg­ment from time to time and i know it is silly but, well, i worry that if i share what W/we have exper­i­enced i might make some of my read­ers feel uneasy or worse not wish to read O/our journal any longer. i would be so dis­ap­poin­ted in myself if people stopped read­ing O/our journal as Master has worked dili­gently to make it pretty and to share with every­one les­sons and ideas that He believes will bene­fit others.

At the same time i want to share with every­one because i am so proud of all W/we have accom­plished and for the H U G E leaps and bounds W/we have made together as Master and slave. i want to share with the world that i have made Master proud because His pride is pre­cious to me. i must be hon­est though, my fears of shar­ing are not purely altru­istic. i am also con­cerned about shar­ing what W/we have exper­i­enced because i do not wish for people to think less of me. i real­ise that should not be a con­cern for me as i am Masters prop­erty and my only con­cern is if He is pleased with me but the quiet, shy insec­ure girl that still resides in the fur­thest corner of my (Masters) heart wants people to like her and not think she is a freak. I guess, what it really boils down to is the shy girl just wants to be accepted.

Okay, now that the tan­gent is com­plete and i may step down from my soap­box i will share the latest news of train­ing with all O/our readers.

Recently i learned to squirt, to exper­i­ence a vaginal orgasm and to fist fuck Masters cunt.

Yes, every­one read me cor­rectly, fist fuck Masters cunt. i can not believe i just told all O/our read­ers that my (Masters) fist has been inside Masters cunt. For some reason acknow­ledging that makes me feel, well, loose. i always ima­gined girls who were fist fucked were easy, tramp­ing and had very large cunt holes.

As i type this i am shak­ing my head at all my judg­ments. How dare i make such accus­a­tions and how dare i think so little of Masters hole. i want to be free to express my (Masters) sexu­al­ity without feel­ing dirty. i want to embrace all of my anim­al­istic desires know­ing i am ‚nor­mal‘ and accepted.

Masters love tells me i am nor­mal and i am accep­ted. Masters love tells me i am wanted, desired, cher­ished and adored and from this moment on i pledge to Master and myself that i will only care about Masters feel­ings and judg­ment towards me — no one else’s‘.

Master has opened my (Masters) body, heart, mind and soul to a world of pleas­ures and i wish to embrace each and every­one of them as much as pos­sible. Every time Master and i are together i feel more, cum more, tingle more and lust for me. i am insa­ti­able for Master: Master’s touch, Master’s words, Master’s dis­cip­line, Master’s strength, Master’s guid­ance and Master’s con­trol. With each day W/we share i want to be branded for Master — to wear His mark.

Master’s mark. Master has gran­ted me per­mis­sion to search for a tat­too artist who will be able to tat­too His slave with His mark. i become wet, i tremble and i shake just from the thought of hav­ing Masters per­man­ent mark on His slave. Master has also gran­ted me to write up deeds to His slave: deeds W/we will sign that dis­play in writ­ing that He owns me.

i am owned, loved, fucked prop­erty and i would not want it any other way.

How lucky i am to have my Master.

~Master’s owned and cher­ished real-estate.

i have con­tin­ued to train Masters throatcunt all week. i am find­ing that my (Masters) throat is relax­ing some­what; how­ever, i still need remain calm when i feel as though i am unable to breathe. i have dis­cussed the situ­ation with Master and W/we have both come to the con­clu­sion that i require a softer more pli­able dildo that will bend with the tun­nel of my (Masters) throat and will glide past the soft pal­ate so that i will be able to deep throat properly.

Currently i am using Mr. Pink — a stiff sil­ic­one dildo which does not bend. Due to my new­est rev­el­a­tion, i am on the man­hunt for a toy that glides but still resembles Masters cock. Master and i have spoken about mold­ing His cock and although W/we have not done so i really desire to do that as soon as pos­sible. i want a rep­lica of the cock i love. i want to fill Masters throatcunt, cunt and asscunt with the next best thing to Master. i want a rep­lica for all holes so that when i am not with Master i can still feel Him inside me.

i believe i will require at least two more months of intens­ive throatcunt train­ing to per­fect the ulti­mate wor­ship­ping of Masters cock. i look for­ward to every oppor­tun­ity i will have to fuck Masters throat.

~Masters eager throatcunt bark­ing bitch