My shame. Part II.

April 6th, 2014

Anilingus

I pretty much enjoy nearly everything to do with the bum. I embraced anal sex like most embrace an orgasm. Physically, the act of anal penetration can bring me to near orgasm and the emotional and psychological sensations I experience when taken in this fashion ignites me, leaves me feeling something I simply can not describe.

The act of penetration does not shame me. I am a very clean girl. Before I engage in anal sex I ensure to give myself an enema, followed by a shower where I scrub my orifice so that you pretty much could eat out of it. I follow this by sprinkling baby powder over my bottom and also just slightly inside of my anus so that it has a sweet scent to it as well. I complete my ritual by inserting lubrication into my tight hole and around it so that I am, in my opinion, perfectly prepared for such a sweet invasion.

I want to be anally fucked. I crave it and thrive from it and when used in this fashion I unleash a rather wicked, filthy, lustful creature. One who craves to be pounded, to have my hair pulled, to be spit on while stretched. This is a place of comfort, oddly enough and one I welcome.

Having my ass fucked is one thing, having it licked is an entirely different situation. The ass is very sensitive with so many nerve endings that it makes perfect sense to me that having a tongue slowly lick the tender flesh would feel good. Oh and it does feel good but the minute I feel Masters tongue inch close, I squirm away. I fight against him as my mind and body fill with shame. Something inside of me tells me it is dirty, that he should not be doing that. Rationally I know it feels good and I want it. Emotionally I struggle in letting myself embrace it.

When it comes to oral pleasure I eagerly give. There is nothing as wonderful as feeling a cock penetrating my throat, of running my tongue along the flesh of an aroused shaft. I am greedy when it comes to sucking cock and rimming, bringing pleasure to another. When it comes to someone doing that to me though I panic. I pull away in what I can only describe as shame. I am not even comfortable in receiving oral, only ever experiencing it 3 times in my life time and all 3 times I pulled away after only about a minute. There is something utterly vulnerable in surrendering to such an act. Vulnerable and shameful and I am not sure why I feel this but I do.

Logically I know anilingus is not shameful. Now if only I could believe this, then I could fully explore such an amazing pleasure.

~cockdoll

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My submissive prayer.

April 6th, 2014

My submissive prayer.

May I find the courage to ask for what I desire especially when I feel the control of my shyness holding me back. May I soften my tongue so that the words that fill the space between us is laden with warmth, encouragement, kindness and obedience. May I follow my Owner’ s guidance, trusting him to do right with my purpose to him, to myself, to the world I live in. May I provide a home of no judgement, a place of respite and solace where we both can express who we are without ridicule or shame. May I offer my flesh for my Owner’s pleasure so that I may bring him joy while fulfilling his every desire. May I walk beside my Owner in grace and dignity ensuring I show my respect and appreciation for the life we live, for the love he gives. And may I never give up on myself, understanding my own worth, knowing I contribute as much as he, that my place is just as significant as his. This is my submissive prayer.

 

~cockdoll

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